How to Know a Camper

Showerhead

Showerhead (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Know what’s awesome? Camping. But if you take awesome and multiply it by spectacular, you get the feeling you have after you take a shower in your own bathroom at your own house after a weekend of camping.

Maybe it’s because I know my feet will still be clean in an hour. (Campers shower, throw flip-flops on and head back outside.). Maybe it’s that I can take my time and not worry about a gray water tank filling up or whether I brought enough quarters to the campground shower to get the conditioner out of my hair. I’m not sure exactly what makes such a mundane, daily task become so absolutely, beautifully blissful after a weekend camping. I am sure that the only comparable feeling is taking ski boots off after a long day of skiing.

Anyway, while in the shower on Monday after arriving home from a Labor Day weekend spent camping, I got to thinking about how some phenomena, like the blissful shower, are specific to camping.

It got me thinking about a few little quirky things about my family and me that are a result of camping. If I noticed these traits on another woman, I’d know she was a fellow camper.

Here are a few – what other ways can you tell someone is a camper even when they aren’t near their tent or camper?

1. Her infant or toddler’s stroller smells like beer. (Strollers have cup holders for a reason, but campground roads are often bumpy and some spillage can occur. Every weekend camping I spill a little adult beverage on the stroller and can never quite get it out and wonder if people in my neighborhood or other parents at the park secretly wonder what is in Buster’s sippy cup.)

2. After a long weekend, it looks like her face, shoulders and feet went on a posh tropical vacation but they left her back, legs, and stomach behind. The tan lines on the feet will likely look like flip-flops and may appear darker due to residual camping dirt. If her children are over 7, she may have a tanned area on each leg between her knees and shorts. This is because after your children are 7 can MAY be able to find time to sit down in daylight while camping. Her husband’s tan lines will be similar but if he has short hair, the term “red neck” can be quite literal and allegorical at the same time.

3. Her children look like they’ve contracted some horrible infectious skin disease, but it’s just mosquito bites and dirt stuck to the roasted marshmallow left on their faces.

4. At sporting events or the park or wherever, when bad weather strikes, she’s prepared for it with a rain poncho, umbrella or other gear she grabs from her car. When she takes out said gear, everyone starts sniffing and asking if something is on fire. Alas, it is just aforementioned gear’s residual campfire odor.

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