I could tell things weren’t looking good by the look on her face. She’d just taken my temperature via ear. “What is it?” I asked her.
“Two ounces,” she told me.
I was in the middle of an exam by Dr. Princess.You see, I, like many other dolls, stuffed animals, baby brothers and pets in our home, had fallen victim to a mystery illness.
Ever since a certain show starring a young girl who talks to and fixes sick and broken toys started on Disney, my house seems to be full of germs. That show is Doc McStuffins. (Click the link to learn more about the show if you’ve never seen it). Coincidence or disease-spreading-over-TV-waves plot?
“I’ve never had a temperature of two ounces, what is it?” I implored.
“You’re sick,” she stated. Truth is, I wasn’t even feeling bad. That’s the scary part.
Nervously, I inquired, “Really? What do I have?”
“First, we have to check your blood pressure. Then, I have to listen to your heart beep,” she replied.
She unceremoniously velcroed the pink Barbie-adorned cuff onto my lower arm. After a couple of squeezes she looked at the dial, shook her head and told me the result. “Fourteen ounces.”. A quick listen to my heart and she was able to convey the grim diagnosis. “You have gwideallatosis.”
“Oh no!” I exclaimed. “What are the next steps?”
Pulling out a pink and blue page covered in ducks, she tells me, “I have to check my map.” A moment passes while she stares at the page before she begins loading her syringe from her infant’s sippy cup and tells me what is next, “Lemonade shots.”
I bravely comply as she asks me to open my mouth so she can shoot the liquid in. I ask her hopefully, “Am I better now?”
“No,” she brusquely responds. “Come on, we have to go to another doctor. This one has candy and better stickers.”
Silently, I thank God our health insurance deductible has been met. There is no telling what that kind of specialist would cost.
Update: A recent exam shows I am gwideallatosis-free! But others in my house haven’t fared so well.
Bunny needs repeated shots. Gordon the dog has required bandages for months. My son’s blood pressure is consistently in the 13-16 oz. range. Barbie and the Lalaloopsy girls have been affected, too, along with numerous other toys. Quite frankly, they’re all sick of being sick.
Are you finding more illness in your home since Doc McStuffins showed up on your TV? Please write your experiences in the comments below and share it with friends who may have the same issue. If enough of us get together we can let Disney and the CDC know that if we really want the healing to begin, the Doc is OUT.